This month, we gave Baby B a taste of what I like to call
"real food." And boy does he love it! First, it was mashed peas, then
squash, then avocado, cauliflower, and carrots. I wasn't surprised when he started grabbing
the spoon and trying to feed himself!
He's been holding his own bottle since four months. Up until this month,
Baby B has been eating exclusively breast milk, mostly through breastfeeding.
It's an endeavor we embarked upon from day one, just minutes after he was born,
and it has been quite a journey.
.JPG)
I will start by saying, I am lucky. I'm lucky my baby latched just minutes after
birth, and hasn't had any of the issues so many other babies had to deal with
just to be able to eat. I'm lucky that
my milk supply has been able to accommodate him without having to supplement
with formula. I'm lucky he never had reflux or lactose allergies. I'm lucky to
live in a state that protects breastfeeding mothers and to have such a
supportive environment around me. These
are just some of the obstacles mothers face every day to simply feed their
babies. Until now, I never realized,
empathized, or appreciated the commitment and persistence it takes. Now I know for every breastfeeding mom, there
are ups and downs, there's joy and there are tears, there is a love for one's
body that is just as powerful as the hate for it the very next day.
A week after we came home from the hospital, the milk came
in. For those who may be unfamiliar,
it's kind of a supply and demand system.
Well, my baby demanded... a lot. During
the course of one night it seemed every 20 minutes he was hungry. I was
exhausted. I was in pain. I remember laying in bed, sleep-deprived and
practically delirious, telling my husband I didn't think I could do it. I
couldn't go through life feeding a baby every half hour. Fortunately, my mom was visiting to help, and
reminded me that there was light at the end of the tunnel. Like everything with a baby, it didn't last
forever. And looking back, it was the
blink of an eye.
After that, the next three months were easy. Every 2-3 hours he ate. If we were out, I'd drape a "peanut
shell" cover over him and find a comfortable spot to nurse. It didn't take long, it was never difficult,
and we were a little nursing team. Then
I went back to work.
For the past three months, I have fed baby in the morning
before work at 6am, pump at work at 9am, go home and feed him during lunch at
noon, pump at work at 3pm and feed him after coming home around 6, and again
right before bedtime if he's still hungry. Feed, pump, feed pump. I read an
article recently about being "frenemies" with a breast pump, and
completely understand why. Sometimes I feel like I spend half the day attached
to a machine.
Throughout the work-week, my supply diminishes. Then, it builds up again during the weekend
when I put the pump and stress aside.
There are days I try to nurse during lunch but my mind is still on
meetings, holding a fussy baby that just wants a bottle. There are distractions that take baby's
attention away, or schedules that don't quite coincide, and I find myself
spending even more time with the pump. These are the days I don't feel like
such a team. I started taking Fenugreek, an herbal supplement to help boost my
supply. Some weekends I have to pump
after nursing to make enough to feed him the next Monday. Feed, pump, feed pump. These are the days I have to remind myself, I
am lucky.
But without fail, every night around 2 or 3am, I hear a
little cry. I walk into the nursery,
pick up baby and we sit in the rocking chair. He looks up and touches my face
as he eats. It's quiet, it's dark, and in that moment I'm all he needs. I soak
it in and record it in my memory. Because like everything with a baby, it won't
last forever.
At 6 months, Baby B likes... crawling, pulling himself to a
standing position, climbing on mommy and daddy, swimming, his blanket, his
pacifier, all food especially peas, squash and cauliflower, and babbling.
Baby B dislikes... sleeping, buckles, being on his back, and
when mommy leaves the room.
