A Mind of his Own

Toddler B is growing more independent every day, and most of the time it feels wonderful to watch him make his own decisions, like choosing a story to read for bed time, or initiating a game of hide-and-seek, or even trying something new like going down the big slide at the playground all by himself. Nothing makes me happier than to see his face, beaming, as he says "I did it my-yelf!"

Sometimes, however, his clarity of intention and follow-through don't align with my directions. That's when parenting a toddler feels like, well, parenting a toddler. The best example was a recent trip to Lowe's, shopping for some small tools and handles for a dresser.

As I pushed him in the awkwardly-large "racecart" or cart with a racecar seat that he supposedly loves to ride in, he expressed his desire to get down and walk. After my attempt to distract him and say no, he thought he'd just climb out by himself. While Drew was looking for a particular type of screw in the hardware aisle, I decided to pick up B and the half dozen small handles I'd already put in the cart, instead of juggling a toddler and an awkwardly-large racecart.

Still, he wanted to walk. "Ok, let's go find the tape," I said, putting him down and shifting half a dozen handles in my arms. "Help mommy find the tape."

B followed close behind as we walked toward the other end of the store, until he turned and said, "outside." Seeing the look on his face, I started to worry. "No, not right now, can you help me find the tape? It's this way."

"Go outside." he said. "No," I replied. "Follow me this way." He must have sensed my fear because then, he smiled.

Without missing a beat, he bolted past the cashier and out the door as I sprinted after him, through the metal detector, juggling an armload of dresser handles, grabbing him by his hoodie as he stepped onto the sidewalk. I scooped him up, dropping half the merchandise I'd just unintentionally stolen from Lowe's, in front of an audience of customers checking out on Black Friday weekend.

When I finally made it back to Drew, disheveled, frustrated, embarrassed, and frankly shocked at the boldness of B's test of boundaries, all I had to do was hand him the toddler and head to the register by myself, while he headed to the car. In our house, we call this a "tag out," and I'm convinced it's why parents come in sets of two.

I'm sure it won't be the last time a trip to the store is cut short, or B decides to go his own way instead of follow instructions. But, today as he sprinkled cheese on a tortilla, standing on a chair at the kitchen counter, B looked at me smiling and said, "I did it my-yelf!"

And I melted.

At 22 months, B likes... hide-and-seek, trains, sports class, painting, racing, playing cars, feeding ducks, cooking, bath time, and so much more!

He dislikes... bedtime, naps, and brushing his teeth.