Proceed with Caution

This Christmas, we got Big Bro his first two-wheeler. A “pedal bike” as he calls it. We were so excited to give it to him knowing how thrilled he’d be to have a Lightning McQueen bike, bright red with a carrying case for hot wheels cars attached to the handle bars. Christmas morning after his initial reaction he immediately started inspecting it. When he saw the case he exclaimed “I can take my cars to the park!”

Given that he’d more than mastered his pedal-less balance bike, I just knew he’d be great at riding this one right away. We didn’t even bother with training wheels. Why would we? I know my own son’s potential and with all his confidence and energy, teaching him would be a breeze.

A couple days later, we set out to the park to learn to ride in the safety of the grass. A hesitant Big Bro told me he didn’t want to practice. A persistent mommy took him anyway, and sat down for about 10 minutes waiting until he was ready to try getting on. He got on, but didn’t sit down. Didn’t even let me push. Not even while holding on. 

I was so frustrated I could barely speak. Here I was, so excited for him and confident for him and courageous for him, but in this moment he exhibited none of those traits for himself. We headed home, walking the bike the whole way. I took the dog for a walk to clear my frustration.

That’s when I started to think back about his balance bike. He’d waited weeks before slowly and cautiously getting on and making his way around the driveway. It even took time for him to warm up to his tricycle before that. He hasn't climbed to the second story of the playground or tried the big tire swing. At the beach he played on the shore without me having to worry about him getting in too deep. What made me think he’d be ready to dive right in?

I think as parents we sometimes tend to project ourselves onto our children, especially when we see so much of ourselves in them. But they’re their own people with their own personalities. 

We put the training wheels on the bike and Big Bro started out slowly. By the end of the day we had to drag him inside when it got dark. He absolutely loves it.

Eventually we’ll take the training wheels off. When he’s ready.

In just one month, my cautious little guy will be four years old, and his Baby Bro will be- one!

At 11 months old, Baby Bro likes giggling, playing with his kuya, cruising, singing, drumming, dancing, nodding yes and no (mostly no) and hiding things in his laundry hamper.

He dislikes getting dressed, diaper changes, and teething.