I'd come straight from a work event as I often do if there's a parent-teacher conference or after school activity. I'm thankful to work in a flexible environment with a rockstar mom boss who gets it. But even all of that doesn't stop me from keeping score. Mom Jess looks at her watch at the end of the day and stares down that career girl until she heads home. Mom Jess knows exactly how many weekend shoots I have lined up in the next three months. She judges me for volunteering, for overnight conferences, for nights out with the girls.
Career Jess rolls her eyes at Mom Jess when she turns down a freelance opportunity. She thinks it's totally lame when I want to be home in time to tuck everyone in. She judges me for wearing athletic-wear without actually fitting in a workout.
They're both exhausted.
But deep down, they know how great it is to share the same identity. It's a balancing act, yes, and it's a busy life. But when Mom Jess does the occasional preschool drop-off, she gets to strut in dressed like a boss without spitup on her shirt or a top knot. When Career Jess takes her kids with her on a shoot, they see how cool her job is and spend the whole night taking their own pretend pictures.
What Mom Jess and Career Jess need to remember is that they make each other better. Becoming a mom made me more responsible, patient, confident and pragmatic. Wearing a baby and a camera at the same time is not only adorable, but it's a sight that's perfectly normal that people need more of. Mom Jess and Career Jess need to cut each other some slack. Stop keeping score.
If we get rid of the guilt, we can be awesome at both.
