The Difference Between Have To and Get To

In discussing an upcoming trip, my four-year-old said something that made me realize the true wisdom and perspective that can be found within our conversations with children.

We were eating lunch and he asked if we were taking a plane to the beach and I said yes. His response: “Yay! I get to go to the airport and wait and watch the planes...”

He “gets to” wait. I envisioned all of my recent trips to the airport. The rolling eyes while taking items out for security, the glances at watches while sitting at the gate, the heads sloped down into mobile devices, and all of the people who just want to get where they’re going. My son looks forward to the journey.

There’s a big difference between those two phrases. “Get to” and “have to.”

I got to thinking about all of the times I’ve said I “have to” do something and what a difference it would make if I had just changed that one little word. “I get to work today.” “I get to go grocery shopping.” “I get to tend to the garden.”

The other night my son asked if he could help daddy with the dishes. He pulled up his stool and happily scrubbed and rinsed with dad, enjoying the water, the time spent together, and seeing the results of his hard work. He got to do the dishes, and he turned something my husband had to do, into something my husband "got to" do too.

If only all of us grown-ups thought of our “have-to’s” as “get-to’s.” I think we’d all be as content as a little boy waiting at the airport, eyes wide open, watching the planes.

Finding a Voice

Baby Bro is growing and developing more every day. He’s no longer a snuggly, babbling baby, but a wiggly, chatty toddler with a new favorite word: no.

Our laid-back little guy has finally found his voice, and it’s the cutest little voice anyone’s ever heard. Even when he’s saying “no” as I ask if he’s ready to take a nap, or as I tell him it’s time to go inside, I can’t help but smile.

I’m always fascinated by the way we learn language. Maybe it’s because of my profession but communication is one of my favorite skills to watch as it goes from different cries to different noises and hand signals and now words. It’s clear he understands complex sentences and answers questions. If I mention the park or swimming in conversation he runs to his room, grabs his shoes and sits down in front of me as if to say, “let’s go mom!” If I ask him to help my with the laundry or sweep, he toddles right over to grab a duster or a sock and put it away. I don’t mind that chores take twice as long with a toddler’s “help.” Ten years from now I know I’ll be begging him to put away a sock.

He waves and says “bye bye,” he says “night night” to his brother before bed, he points to dogs, airplanes, trucks and birds, announcing them all by name.

He’s becoming a parrot, making efforts to repeat everything we say and while most efforts are basically inaudible, he succeeds in repeating choice phrases on the first try, like “dang it.” Yes, I’ve cleaned up my language quite a bit since the first child.

Toddlerhood is full of ups and downs and tantrums and messes, but it’s one of my favorite stages. I love seeing him look me in the eye and smile when I ask him a question, processing what I say as he pauses to answer in his staccato little voice- “no.”