The Difference Between Have To and Get To

In discussing an upcoming trip, my four-year-old said something that made me realize the true wisdom and perspective that can be found within our conversations with children.

We were eating lunch and he asked if we were taking a plane to the beach and I said yes. His response: “Yay! I get to go to the airport and wait and watch the planes...”

He “gets to” wait. I envisioned all of my recent trips to the airport. The rolling eyes while taking items out for security, the glances at watches while sitting at the gate, the heads sloped down into mobile devices, and all of the people who just want to get where they’re going. My son looks forward to the journey.

There’s a big difference between those two phrases. “Get to” and “have to.”

I got to thinking about all of the times I’ve said I “have to” do something and what a difference it would make if I had just changed that one little word. “I get to work today.” “I get to go grocery shopping.” “I get to tend to the garden.”

The other night my son asked if he could help daddy with the dishes. He pulled up his stool and happily scrubbed and rinsed with dad, enjoying the water, the time spent together, and seeing the results of his hard work. He got to do the dishes, and he turned something my husband had to do, into something my husband "got to" do too.

If only all of us grown-ups thought of our “have-to’s” as “get-to’s.” I think we’d all be as content as a little boy waiting at the airport, eyes wide open, watching the planes.