6 Things You Should Never Say to a Pregnant Woman

During the past 31 weeks, I've gained a new perspective on pregnancy, society's expectations and treatment of expectant mothers, and so much more.  I never anticipated the things I would learn about my own body and what I'm capable of, or the simple things I used to take for granted or ignore.  Now, when I go places, things like proximity to a restroom and comfortable seating have to be taken into account.  Simple gestures like opening a door for me or offering a chair are doubly appreciated.  Many people, even strangers, are quick to offer help or a quick congratulations.  Some are less sensitive.  Hence, the following list I've compiled of statements people have actually said to me.  Yes, to my face.  

The Top 6 Things You Shouldn't Say to Pregnant People:

6. "Wow! You're huge!" To which I will respond in kind with an enthusiastic and cheerful, "Thanks! You too!" After all, it would be rude not to reciprocate.

5. "You should probably lay off the beer." The first time I heard this joke was from a random hot dog vendor at a hockey game.  And yes, I've heard it multiple times.

4. "We should have cast you as Santa!" This festive little gem also came from a complete stranger.  Hilarious.

3. "How is she today?" Usually said as an aside to someone else in the room while I am pretty sure I'm in an obvious conscious state with the ability to hear and see the environment around me, this reference to hormonal moodiness only makes me feel like I'm some sort of dementia patient. 

2. "You'll never sleep again." Perhaps the most common and discouraging feedback I receive. Believe it or not, our decision to have a child was very premeditated. I'm familiar with the habits of babies. Besides, isn't not sleeping how we got into this situation? I'm confident the joys of parenthood will outweigh the dark circles under my eyes.

1. "Sorry, we're all out." Let's face it, these are words no one ever wants to hear.  Whether it's your favorite latte flavor, movie tickets, or tables at a restaurant.  For some reason I think when you're pregnant they come with an extra-heavy dose of disappointment.  If you refrain from using any of the above phrases, make it this one.

Over the past couple of months I've also acquired a few new nicknames.  Some of the highlights include Prego, Preggo-Eggo, Tons-of-Fun, Mama, and my personal favorite, "Lil' Mama," because it makes me feel like this girl:

Though some of these comments and nicknames may sound offensive or hurtful, don't start wasting any sympathy on me. Five years in broadcast journalism gave me a very thick skin.  I've been called much worse, and I am positive that all of the above were said out of love and support for someone they know is snarky enough to laugh it off and post it on a blog afterwards.  Tons-of-Fun?  It made me laugh the hardest.  :)